2011

Another year has come and gone, and there is thankfully, much to celebrate.
Beginning in January, I decided 2011 would be a better year than the last. I would choose myself over men, putting my own feelings first and staying single for a while. I rang in the new year with good friends and good drinks and fell asleep laughing. It was genuinely the best new year's eve I've ever had. The following months were a little hectic, and I began to have a tighter grasp on what it was that I wanted. I got a new job, got rid of the worst and most unhealthy relationship of my life, finally got myself together a little bit. I was by myself, alone as I'd ever been, but happy I was at this place. It was time for growth and I was ready to move on. I knew once the semester ended and I landed this new job, I'd be happier than I'd ever been. I could just feel it.
I'd made the decision to stay in Mt. Pleasant and live by myself so I could gain experience in with a job I loved at the time.
May came and went and all my roommates moved out. The majority of my friends left, as well, leaving me with just a few close friends and my co-workers. I began working everyday for a few weeks straight, then the number of clients slipped and I stopped working every day. I spent a lot of time alone. And when I say a lot, I mean hours and days and there were times where I'd spend a week in my house alone by myself.
I became miserable. I was alone, alright; I was more alone, physically and emotionally, than I'd ever been in my life.
And then one night I came across a project for women who were in need of a self-esteem boost, marriage & dating advice, guidance and fellowship. It was this place for women to go and connect with others. I'd never seen anything like it. I befriended the creator and listened carefully to her wise words. She knew what she was talking about when it came to showing women the way of finding grace. I asked her if I could write for the project and to my surprise, she said yes. From there, I began to find all kinds of people in this blogging community. Women who stood up for things they believed in. Women who wrote about how proud they were to be mothers and wives. I found women who wrote their fierce little hearts out about things no one else wanted to say. Even men who stood up for women, respect them, cherish them and want to help them find their passion. And suddenly, I'd found this place where people understood me: I could share my thoughts, others could read my words, grasp my ideas. It was a little nook in the world where understanding others on paper became more than  just about reading advice or sharing stories. This was a place where people find they're not alone and the parts of their heart they feel most passionate about can be understood.
I had no idea this would be one of the most pivotal points in my life.
Some people say it's not a real community, others might laugh. That's okay. But, I have always found my passion in words, and this wasn't any different.
I have learned from people across the country and everywhere in between what it means to be a lady. Women have reached out to me and thanked me for sharing my words. I have not only seen how others' work can touch your heart but I have seen how my own work can reach through to someone's soul and bring out something good.
That's just a start on where it's gotten me.
When I began this blog, I forced myself to be honest with others. I put my own truths out there so that I could help someone else find theirs. Documenting my faults, my journey, my trip-and-fall moments, too. I share God's Grace on here and how I find His meaning in my life. But I haven't been honest about it all.
Through some mysterious form of amazing Grace, someone found me. So I'm going to continue to be honest, because I want people to know. I want others to read our story and see that love is bold. Love is fearless. Love is everything you always wanted, and it IS real. It will come to you and find you. It will heal your soul.

I told a few lies  about our story, because I was truly scared of judgement from the start. Who wouldn't be? And this is my apology to those of you who heard a lie from the start, and not the full truth.
I met Michael, the man I'm going to marry, who's bed I'm sitting on right now while he's at work and I'm typing this...through this crazy thing called the blogging community.
I didn't meet him at a party, or whatever it is I probably told you because I was afraid. I met him because someone who read my blog retweeted (that's a twitter term for all you non-tweeters) something I wrote. Because Mike found me through a mutual friend. And he read my blogs. And we connected through writing, and through the Gospel, and through questions and answers and things we both wondered about. And we talked, and talked, and talked. Countless hours on the phone, messages, letters. In August, he said "I'm buying you a plane ticket".
And then I flew to Maryland.

It's really a very simple story, but judgement is what makes it complex. I prefer not to say "we met on the internet" because we're 22 & 23 and not 53 and we're not on E-Harmony. We met through a community of people who are just like us.
It was a bold, brave move on my part. I trusted my heart and knew that it was right. I prayed about it for countless nights and asked for a sign. I didn't question the answers my heart was giving me, I took them for face value. I saw him in the airport and every piece of my world came together. I knew the moment I saw his face that he would be the one I would be with every day from there on out.
This is why I believe in God today. I will always tell this as part of my testimony. I prayed, I trusted God's Will, and I did it. I took a chance and I traveled across the country and I fell in love, plain and simple. I'm not the first, and I won't be the last. People question me all the time about how I know he's the one or how I got up the courage to fly to meet him. I don't have answers that other people will be able to understand unless you've been through something similar and relied completely on your heart to tell you just what it is you need to do.
I'm less alone than I've ever been in my life. I am the happiest I've ever been. In fact, I didn't even know happiness to this extent was possible. You're welcome to question my sanity, that's alright with me. But I've got a ring on my left hand and a knowing in my soul that everything I've done has gotten me to exactly where I'm supposed to be.
What have you learned this year?

I'm happy to announce I'm getting married, but it won't be for a while!. We've got a lot of decisions to make, but I'm going to keep looking to God for the answers and hoping you'll join me along the way while I write about the crazy things that happen on my journey.
I'm jumping into a few new projects this year, and I'll be redesigning my blog. Look for the announcement of a new project I'm getting my hands into in the very beginning of 2012. I'm excited to announce that I'm joining in with a good blogging-community friend and helping to promote & write for a new website. I hope those who have read this year will continue to read, share, and love. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through 2011 whether through my writing, blogging or my love life. 2012 has a lot of beauty in store.